Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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