she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
