when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
