found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
