idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
