i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
