Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize