just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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