I wannas sexs uuuuu
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Life is so much better after having sex.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
