please come you make the beer taste better
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My vagina just clenched in fear
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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