So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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