Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
