I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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