You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
