i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
