i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He is an equal opportunity slut.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
