What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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