when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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