i think i have herpe
just one?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
