I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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