She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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