Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Less talking, more tequila
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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