my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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