So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm jealous of your bromance
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
