yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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