ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
