Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
