It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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