So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
