Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
