I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
