I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I can't trust your balls anymore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
