Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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