i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
