What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
