So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
