Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
