Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
