maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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