He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
