then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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