A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
as a side note pls kill me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
