before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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