It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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