Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
