oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
