I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
