He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
