It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
