Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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