I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
one might say we're banned from that church
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
